About, Me

things were not the same anymore...

2009-02-19T03:44:00.000-08:00

after a few days without one of the most important person in my life....i feel that i am no longer the same person anymore...i thought that i could go bec being the same old me but its not that way anymore...u see, after this year's Valentine's day, alot ppl are breaking up that includes me...and, it made me realise one thing, the ppl around us are no longer having the spirit to celebrate all these ocations anymore....these happenings mean nothing to them and they don put their heart into celebrating it anymore...i thought it was my fault for not being the same as the others but i feel tat, i am celebrating each and every happenings as i used to...but somehow, i wasnt me anymore...as confirm as i am, i am already another person....my first perception is, that i wasnt in the mood for love ever again cuz, i have been hurt so deeply this year and it was my own doings...second perception is, i already stop smoking and i feel so unusual but somehow, i still have to go on stop smoking cuz i already promised someone that i stop it...*someone important to me*....can anyone give me an answer what is happening to me?? in other words, i am becoming more coward...more n more n more afraid to do things anymore...WHY!? i need an answer so that i can find the truth and solve this...by doing so only i can be myself again....*that's what i hope so*....*sigh*

signing out,
-KD Wong-

it ended so fast n badly...WHY!?

2009-02-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

well, this time i just wanna tell u guys that, my relationship with the girl i love so much just ended this afternoon...she claims that she i not really comfortable having this relatinship with me right now and she wants me to wait for her to come bec from USA only she will reconsider our chances of being together...i hat farewells, and i am not very good at it...she is gonna go there in about 1 year plus time...and when she does, she isnt gonna come bec cuz her contract to there states there is no off-day for her to come bec M'sia...i was very sad at first with this decision but i have to respect her cuz i just love her to much...there is nothing i can do to change her mind cuz i promised to respect each n every decision she makes...if fate is siding on my side, i am willingly to wait for her even if it takes a very very long time...and if i am able to graduate together with her, i decide to follow her even to the end of the world...i just cant give up this feeling cuz i haven have this feeling for a long long time before...its hard for me...i've been loving her ever since and now, when i knew i had the chance to be with her, i just cant be with her anymore...i really hate myself...i am blaming myself for all this happening...cuz if i didnt plan the Valentine's day plan then everything will be the same as usual meaning i would love her secretly without hurting her nor myself...i am willingly to wait for her but i am damn sure that in 3 years time, things would not be the same anymore and she might find the other half during this time...what am i supposed to do right now??? even if i waited for her, chances of us being together might not be as high as before...i am darn moody right now...every sort of sadness is in me now...sad, moody, down, hopeless, and etc....no point me telling my prblems to other ppl cuz they cant help cure this pain i am going through...i just have t bear the pain myself alone...oh gosh, why am i crying right now?? i shouldnt be crying over a thing like this but it comes naturally...i did not cry for any of the girl i love before so she is the first i cried...oh gosh...i am in so much pain right now...please God, help me go through this pain...i need your guidance...*sigh*

signing out,
-KD Wong-

this song makes me feel happy yet sad at the same time....for the time being i hope

2009-02-15T22:07:00.000-08:00

MMMMMMMMMM

Ever since I was a baby girl I had a dream

Cinderella theme

Crazy as it seems

Always knew that deep inside that there would come that day

But I would have to wait

Make so many mistakes

I couldn't comprehend

As I watched it unfold

This classic story told I left it in the cold

Walking through an open door that led me back to you

Each one unlocking more of the truth

I finally stopped tripping on my youth

I finally got lost inside of you

I finally know that I needed to grow

And finally my mate has met my soul

[chorus]:Finally

Now my destiny can begin

Though we will have our differences

Something strange and new is happening

Finally

Now my life doesn't seem so bad

It's the best that I've ever had

Give my love to him finally

MMMMMMMM

I remember the beginning you already knew

I acted like a fool

Just trying to be cool

Fronting like it didn't matter

I just ran away

And on another phase

Was lost in my own space

Found what its like to hurt selfishly

Scared to give of me

Afraid to just believe

I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place

Stumbled through the mess that I have made

Finally got out of my own way

I've Finally started living for today

I finally know that I needed to grow

And finally my mate has met my soul

[chorus]:Finally

Now my destiny can begin

Though we will have a our differences

Something strange and new is happening

Finally

Now my life doesn't seem so bad

It's the best that I've ever had

Gave my love to him Finally

MMMMMMMM

Finally, Finally

Finally

Now my destiny can begin

Though we will have our differences

Something beautiful is happening, happening

Finally

Now my life doesn't seem so bad

It's the best that I've ever had

Give my love to him finally

Ohhhhhhh, Finally, Finally, Finally

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmoKaQ1T4hc

Signing out,

-KD Wong-

finally...together at last...

2009-02-15T03:25:00.000-08:00

i finally manage to convince her to give me a chance to be with her....i mean together with the girl i love so much...during valentine's day, the plan that i arrange go smoothly...and she was kinda impressed i guess...hahaha....then the next day i sms with her, she finally gave me a chance to be with her....OMG..thanks God for blessing me with her...i will really appreciate her with all my might....another thing is my Penang trip...it was really a fun one...i bought this book entitled "How to Know GOD" and beyond my wildest dream, it was the book that really amazed me...hahahaha...i love that book so much....i talks about the 7 stages of knowing ur GOD...well, tats all for now, i got to go rest...just came bec from Penang...and very tired...hahaha...see ya all another time...

signing out
-KD Wong-

going to make my final move...i guess

2009-02-10T23:41:00.000-08:00

its me again....i am back for another freakingly boring blog...lol...well, tomorrow ia m heading off to Penang for my semester break...and guess who is going along??? its the girl that i have been in love for so long...seriously, i have been in love with her since semester 1 if i not mistaken...well, the best part is that, i am going there to celebrate my fren's burday which is on the same day as Valentine's Day...OH MY GOD!!!! i just had the perfect plan for this....i am gonna buy roses and a gift to the girl i love n hopefully she will accept me to be together with her...well, lets not be over-confidence anyway cuz the higher the hope i put onto, the higher the disappointment i will get in return if the plan backfires...right??? anyway, its been a long journey, and she is rejecting me ever since....well, i don wanna hope for the best but if this Valentine's Day plan works then thansk God for it but if it fails, then, by any means i am giving up....seriously...call me a quitter or anything but, its just too hard for me to chase her when she has already set her mind not to be with me right??? well, i am going out now to have my lunch+breakfast so see ya in another blog...wish me all the best ya!!! hehehehe....tata

signing out,
KD Wong

where am i supposed to go right now???

2009-01-16T18:54:00.000-08:00

in this blog, i suddenly wanna write something but i don really have a strong topic wor...lol...i oso dunno why...i am supposed to study for my FOOD exam paper later....but once i woke up, i just don feel like studying...i have this very weird feeling that, i am gonna be a no one in future...i was thinking where am i supposed to go right now??? what i mean is, which road i must take so that it will decide my future....i am totally blank out right now...i wonder, if studying really suits my life...i wanna study so that i can confirm a steady n firm future for myself but, in the other hand, i don feel like studying anymore...many things had happen since i came to college...some happy n some sickening...to be honest, one of the thing is LOVE...afterall, everyone need some love right??? haha...since i came to college, i fell in love twice already...well, both didnt went well as i was suppose....many ppl say this is not my time to love yet but if i don take the initiative to go looking for it, when will it come...am i right??? its not that i don wanna accept the fact but this is a theory...u don look, u don get....i dunno what the hell i am doing in my college life...another thing is, SMOKING....o gosh....actually i really wanna stop smoking n i tried to stop twice too...first time was like going through hell...sleep-wake up-sleep again-wake up again-sleep again....OMG...i was like i am always tired...second time i tried, i put in a purpose to stop smoking....it went successfully, cuz i stop for 5 days without feeling tired or whatsoever....it was like the feeling is so good....in the end, i smoked back cuz the purpose for me to stop smoking just vanished into thin air just like that....i think u all also can guess what my purpose is right? haha...of course not for health lar silly...hehe....anyway, i am gonna stop here cuz i gonna go study now, so see ya all in the next blog...hehe...tata...take care...

pEaC3-0Ut
KD Wong....

don need to face me anymore...sigh

2009-01-15T11:03:00.001-08:00

hihi...i am back...today i am kinda moody...oklar, i tell u all...recently, i like this gal from my class...and we are hanging out alot and i find that i fell in love with her...so, i slowly slowly try to get close to her lor...but the things is i feel kinda akward when she is around and i think she feel so too...after for some while, she finally realise that i am trying to chase her...well, at first i thought she might give a good reaction cuz, i really am treating her very good (i thought so)....but, she tell another fren of mine about what she feels about me...she say that, its gonna be hard for her to face me cuz after all, we all are going to be in the same class in future....hahaha...nvm ba...it was this that made me moody...well, thats all ba...kakaka...see ya all next time...

do i have that chance...???

2008-12-25T09:40:00.000-08:00

its kinda some time since i updated me blog eh....haha...well, this time, i wanna express my feelings...u see, i have been liking this girl for a long time...then, i decided to express to her about how i feel on her....but i was rejected by her cuz she claims that she already started dating someone...(*someone i knew*) well, i was kinda sad at first but i slowly learn to keep my feelings cuz i hope that eventually, she will know how much i feel for her....then, its was like a month plus i guess, i heard from her again...this time, she already broke up with his boyfriend....when i heard this, 2 feelings came into me...1) sad for her to break up, 2) happy cuz i really really wanna be with her....but it seems feeling no.2 was not a good feeling...its rather bad...if i do so, not only i will ruin my friendship but i also will lose my trust that everyone had on me....i might not even trust myself....but, in the end, i did express that i still have a strong feeling onto her but she didnt replied my message...i guess she is mad at me something...in my mind, i was thinking whether did i do the right thing...did i make the right decision...did i took the right path??????????? questions like this is still flying all around the inch of my head....and i still cant find thee answer....i hope she will answer me someday, cuz i really need to know...for now, my chances to be with her might be just 0% and it dont really annoy me cuz, i am willingly to wait for her even if it takes a very long time....mayb i don have the looks, the body shape of the safe feeling that i can give her....but one thing for sure that i surely will love her with my whole beating heart...i swear...and if the girl i am talking about is reading this text, i hope u understand that no matter what decision or answers u give me....i will always feel the same way on u...this is a promise i can surely confirm cuz there is no one else that would give me the same feeling that i felt when i was near u...thats all...

signing out,
-KD Wong-

Who Painted the MOON Black!?

2008-12-08T20:05:00.000-08:00

Did you see the shiny moon
Turned into a black balloon?
Just as you walked away from me

Did you see how hard I've tried?
Not to show the pain inside
Just as you walked away from me

Who painted the moon black?
Just when you passed your love back
Who painted the moon black?
Oh won't you, won't you come back?

It must have been the darkest night
Not even a star in sight
Just as you walked away from me, now

Who painted the moon black?
Just when you passed your love back
Who painted the moon black?
Oh won't you, won't you come back?

Who painted the moon black?
Just when you passed your love back
Who painted the moon black?
Oh won't you, won't you come back?
Who painted the moon?

Da da da...

Did you see the shiny moon?
Turned into a black balloon
Just as you walked away from me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Lgtod-et24

this is my feeling right now...*sigh*

SiGninG 0uT,
KD Wong

WORST PRACTICAL EVER!!!!

2008-12-05T02:51:00.001-08:00

today was my practical in the restaurant and hell i was the worst day of my entire life....we started at 9.15 in the morning and things went well at first....but as time goes by, things got from bad to worst...i actually gave a briefing on my classmates how wad to do and how to do their jobs...but none of them followed as wad i told them to...except a few of course lar did a good job...firstly, we forget to make ice so we kinda stole from the kitchen...(LOL) then i forgotten to write the reservation book...oh gosh!!! (BIG MISTAKE)..as we start our service, firstly is the waitres and waitresses, walao eh... i told them not to group around in one place cuz, they will end up talking more that doing their job...but still, the gather around and chit chat nonstop... GOD!!! then, came the very suffering part that is the very very very annoying part... i know i am the Manager for the day but don lar small small things oso come find me....bills written wrongly, not paying attention to customers, alot lar....cant tell lar...no mood tell....then my classmates, they are as if living in their own world and they would not listen to wad i say....if i say nicely, they take it as a joke...if i talk louder, they will go emo and show those faces to me...making me damn annoyed and sick....all the jobs are real simple only is just that, they don wanna listen to instructions...i don give a damn lar....u all wanna go against me bcuz i commented u guys badly during briefing then so be it...i am just doing my job....if u guys are my friend surely u will respect me....even if u guys don wanna respect me as a Manager...pls try to respect me as one of ur classmates...ok?? thats i wad i wanted from u guys...i think i don have the mood to go on blogging le lar...incase u wanna know the story can comment to me...i will tel u guys...thats all...

signing out,

KD WONG

Stuck In the Middle...DILEMMA

2008-12-03T00:49:00.001-08:00

i don have any mood for introduction so i will just go straight to the point anyway...remember the last blog i wrote about some cheap idiot...well, the issue became kinda serious or more to complicated...well, i for once, don wanna have any problems in this issue cuz there is no ending to this situation ( my opinion)...so i rather stick my butt out of this...but now, my class have 2 different oppositions...Side A n Side B...the thing is, i am stuck in the middle and i dunno how the hell i got myself into this dilemma...both sides are ok to me....and both side has my best friends in it...its not that i don wanna help out them but they intend to go against each other in any sort of discussions or decisions...HELP!!! well, Thursday is my one of my classmate's 21st burfday and Side B planned to buy a "Golden Key" for him...well, i am not sure how much it cost but, it sure is expensive with the word "GOLDEN" in it...it may cost around 150 to 200++ i guess...so Side B asked me to announce this plan to the class...so i did cuz i was the so call "Class Rep" that is responsible for everything that happens in the class...when i announced it, Side A straightly disagree and they came to me to ask me alot of things which i would not wanna talk about...basiclly, everyone was asked to give RM10 each for the "Golden Key"...well, we are students and some of them cant really afford to lose that much money...besides that, they told me that the "Golden Key" should be presented to one by their parents and not their friends.....that is wad they said lar...i am not very interested in this fact...then, when it comes to collecting the money, there quite a few who dont really wanna give the RM10 cuz they cant really afford it...u see, Side B is calling me to collect the money an Side A cant afford that much...and then, they will go seeking me for complains and whatsoever....i am really tired of all this arguing and i am so confused why cant all this nonsense stop??? i wish i didnt have to be the Class Rep cuz, i am not that type of ppl who loves troubles and stuffs...i just wanna make friends and study thats all...why cant it be like that??? GoSh!!! however, i decided to stay away from all these troubles cuz both Side A and B has my closest friends in it and i don wanna lose either side of my friends....i am confused and really am tired...can someone help me??? can God open my mind and let me seek the knowledge to solve this problem??? HELP ME!!!!

so darn headache....all cuz of a cheap idiot

2008-11-26T10:07:00.000-08:00

hi guys...i am back again for another blog...haha....well, in this blog i am gonna tell u guys how headache am i with a few of my classmates....well, one of them is quite an idiot to us...his attitude so darn annoying that nobody wanna talk to him...tell u something, he even uses tactics such as helping someone to do his/her work just to make frens with them....OMG!!! what a cheap idiot...recently in my class DHT5..., we kinda have this issue....with that cheap guy...but actually its not very serious but its just that, the cheap guy made it look so serious...hahahaha....darn stupid...uhmm, lets talk about this guy first....he was previously a Cert student and was promoted to Diploma into the same class with me...(talk about luck) well, i heard alot of stuffs about his during his time in Cert and gosh u don wanna know, u can trust me on that...he was "boikot-ed" (dunno how to spelll =.=") during his year in Cert, and no one wanna talk to him....but a girl pity him and tries to be friends with him and end up they were together as bf n gf....that was when that guy had no friends....but once he came to Diploma, he get to know alot of new friends who actually don have any idea on how bad he was....when he get new frens, he dump his gf that was his only fren in Cert....he dumped her and get another new gf....gosh!!! makes him more cheap man....actually, that was only the first bad thing he made out my list of his bad doings....i dont think i have to time to write that all out...hahaha...but i will tell u some throughout my blog this time....wakakakakaka....in the last semester, i was in the same group as he is in an assignment....you see, he were suppose to design a restaurant proposal or something like that....then, we went out for meetings and for the last meeting it was kinda like a last minte double check to see any of the topics are not done yet....so, we divided into smaller groups to settle those stuffs....after a long n tiring time of doing all those topics...i finally done my part i was hungry that time, plus i haven take my lunch and bath yet...it was like lunch+dinner+supper i haven take...so i asked that cheap guy permission to let me go back home n bath n eat but, he kept giving me excuses and wanting me to stay to do his part of the assignments too...NVM!!!! i stayed for a little long and i helped the others to finish their jobs....another few hours passed and i am really hungry, i asked another time to go have my meal....this time he also dont allow...how ridiculious...but i insisted i am starving and i went home....i never went bec to help their assignments....then, after that very day, he "boikot" me....as if he was in the right and i was in the wrong....i know i promised to go bec and help but, hey, i asked twice and u never allow me to go...what is your problem??? right??? so, i don really care about him much....i am tired enough with my works n assignments so y should i care??? that time, he was very close to some of my other classmates and i was being "boikot" terribly until no one really wanna talk to me...but i don give a damn...haha....this semester, i guess, everyone took a really good look at how is his attitude and thank God....he is now the one being "boikot"....i am not trying to be mean or bad....its just that i feel, there is justice in my class now...as the phrase goes in the bible "The first shall be the last, and The last shall be the first"....but now, issues about him is giving me a headache....cuz, i was the first one to "boikot" him and he was the first one to "boikot" me....so now that everyone "boikot" him, they intend to find me ti ask about him..its like they wanna start a pact with me to go against him...i just tell them, that i am not "boikot-ing" him, i am just not too close to him bcuz of his attitude....thats all....then they asked why i rarely talk to him much and i just answer, if u are not close to someone, and u have no topics to talk to him, why should u waste your time talking to him....hahahaha..am i right??? oh well, there is lots more to talk about this cheap guy....i am kinda sleepy now...i will update my blog about this guy in future.....for now, GOOD NIGHT!!! thanks for reading my blogs....XD

HoLy CraP !!!! 3 bottles of Heineken??? o.O

2008-11-23T23:27:00.000-08:00

Hello guys, i am back after a long time of not updating my blog...wakakakaka...lets start, yesterday was my classmates Ah Sam's burfday, so we decided to celebrate....at frist we thought of going to Ipoh for some fun as in lar....wakakakaka...but later on, we canceled cuz its kinda far n its kinda boring too...so we decided to go to 21st for the celebration....n gosh, we opened 4 buckets of Heineken lar!!! wow, thats like 20 bottles of beer....wakakaka....and as far as i know i don like these beers, i kinda drank 3 bottles of it and i still feel fine that i can even drive a car to WestLake....lol...well, its kinda fun to have such as occasion so tat all of us an relax abit....hahahaha....but the next day which was today, we are supposed to have HMO exam....wakakakakaka....damn funny cuz all of us haven start studying yet....=.= So, that was about Sam's burfday....but as usual, from every occasion or happening, i will surely recall back so that i can learn something from it...it seems like, i kinda don belong to their group...its like i am not use to going out with them although they did called me....i wonder why??? mayb its my own attitude of too high class????? i dunno....can someone tell me??? then, when i take my attitude to compare, i've seen that i really change alot...i thought coming to college might change me into a better person but it seems tat i couldnt manage to do so...in another words, i am getting from bad to worst....but, after yesterday, i decided to change bec...no no not change bec but to change for the better....cuz, if i go on acting like this, i might lose every fren o my list including the ones i know in Anson....there is another thing that is bugging my mind lately....u see, i have a fren back in Anson, n he's currently going out with some girl that seems to be his first love...well, u guys know lar, first love is like the most important love in your life....so, actually, i allow him to go dating but at the same time, i want him to study and be successful in his studies....but the longer he goes on with that girl, the worst he became...he usually do no spend money like hell, he usually goes to class, he usually pays attention in class and he usually wont lie to me or being cool to me but now all of that is gone.....he starts to do the opposite of wat he "usually" do....the worst is he's becoming into another person....he lies to me for so many times....he rather spends time with his GF even if i go bec Anson once a week adnd, he complains that i never respects her GF by smoking in front of her....Hey!!! when i am smoking, i do no blow any of the smokes to anyone i know or i don know...i don do that!!! it kinda pisses me off cuz, he don wanna tell me frankly and he wants to backstab me!!!! WTF!!! what is the total shit about this??? we afer supposed to be best frens and now becuz of a girl u wanna break that best fren bond with me???? this is a total nonsense n outrage!!!! but wad can i do??? advising him is useless....there is nothing i can do to get bec the old him.....mayb, MAYBE!!!, sometimes, best friend doesnt really mean anything to you if u are in love....mayb, its my fault of letting him date that girl, mayb!!! everything starts with a "MAYBE"....i need you guys out there to tell me wad can i do....thats all for my blog and thanks to those who posted some comments for me..i really appreciate it!!! hehe...Arigato Gozaimasu!!! XD ^^

another stupid day of my boring life...

2008-11-17T04:30:00.000-08:00

well, today was yet another day that i skip HMO class and Accounts class...i don understand why but when i am in that class it makes me feel like i am a total idiot...it seems like everyone knows alot and knows what the lecturer is talking about but not me...i am just a useless student...mayb that is what makes me wanna skip those classes...besides that, i don feel that i belong to Hotel course...although i am more interested in Food Service but what are the use??? i am stil gonna go for account class...mayb i am just blind...i wonder if am i going to pass my diploma program...i didnt tell anyone this problem cuz it makes me look like a total idiot...a stupid idiot....i often get angry of myself...why am i so stupid??? why did i choose the stupid course??? why why why??? besides that, when i skip classes, i feel very guilty, very useless and very foolish....but i just cant stand the fact that i cant stand in the class....i need to get out from that class...sounds stupid right??? anyone of u who read this blog sure think so i bet ya....everyday, i struggle to understand what the lecturers teach but i cant...cuz, whenever i wanna revise back what they teach, my mind is empty...hollow...nothing is inside...i wasting my parents money n time sending me to study...i am going to make their investment towards me a failure and a loss.....loss of time, loss of energy and most important, loss of money....its not easy to face with all these facts....i really don want my parents to waste their money but what can i do???i rather just go n die...seriously, i thought of dying...but if i die, this will add insult to injury to my parents...not only they will blame me for all the wastage of money, but i don think they ever wants to acknowledge me as their son...all these thoughts are running through my mind each n every single day...it makes me so scared that i don dare to even face my parents when i am talking to them about my college life...its a totally stupid thing....i am just another useless garbage that is wasting everyone's effort...nonetheless, who i am to the world??? its not that i am a VIP or something??? mayb, i should run away from my life....disappear so that no one knows how worst i am...yeah it may worry my parents, but i guess after some time, it will be nothing serious right??? i dunno...i feel so stupid now...can anyone pls help me by posting some advice in the comment box??? i really need to noe...thanks...thats all for now i guess....tAtA

funny things happy coincidently...

2008-11-12T12:06:00.000-08:00

today, is kinda a fun day for me....mayb its cuz i have less worries....just today lar...wakakakakaka.....at first, one of my classmates asked me about how i feel about his girlfriend....i mean, WHAT THE HECK???? he is asking me, how i feel about her girlfriend's looks.....and the funny part is, he only gave me 2 choices of answers.....1) is my gf's looks ok ok only???? 2) is my gf's looks damn ugly....oh gosh, how was i going to answer his questions when both the answers is negative one....i don wanna hurt his feeling or wad u see....ahahaha...wierd eh.....but however, i chose the first answer if u guys wanna know...lol.....after that, i had steamboat with my bunch of classmates....and one of me classmates is so damn idiot u know...lol...from the start of the steamboat, he was laughing n laughing n kept on laughing for non-stop...the funny part was, we was putting in some sausages into the steamboat....lol....and when its cook, this friend of mine took one and said " aiyer, why is my hot dog shorter than u guys one".....*speechless*...( hey hey, no negative thinking ar) hahaha.....right after the steamboat, we all planned to go to MacDonald for supper...so we drove up to Ipoh....and my bunch of classmates, each and everyone of them just called a cup of softdrink and thats it....lol... nothing else except a ice cream or so.....lol....we talked about how i got the name PCK ( Pek Cham Kai) means my leg's hair is less being a guy and my classmate Sam got the name (SMS, not short message system but Seh Moh Sam) means leg hair growing- Sam....zzzz...darn funny cuz his leg's hair is like totally a dark dark dark forest....wakakakakaka....then when we decided to shoot back home, one of me classmate's car had a problem with the keys and we like spend almost 30 minutes helping her to solve it....its like its lock and we cant open the door so we use the bonet n the alarms goes off and we search for the alarm button n we cant find it and we cant start the engine....hahahahahha.....damn clumsy eh??? lol....but at last we settled the problem and we shoot back home safely n thanks God for that....well, i realised something from here that is funny little things can really make u feel good and can ease u from the stress u having that time....i am kinda glad that those incidents happened today....it really helps me to calm down my mind....eventhough nobody knows wad my problems are....anyway, i am here tonight just to tell u guys this funny story...lol...well, i am off the bed now....good night guys and see ya next time....tAtA

not always good at handling goodbyes...

2008-11-11T09:35:00.000-08:00

Hi hi...i am back for another blog...hahahaha...uhmm, in this blog, i am gonna share about me handling a few goodbyes in my life and recently one that is going to happen in a year time....u see, i suck at saying goodbyes to my friends...i don like to see them leave...its not easy for me....my first goodbye was with 2 teachers in my school...those two teachers were my favourite teacher...i know they are just having their practical in my school and i should not have gotten so close with them but somehow, God bring me to them n i kinda was attached to them...i spent most of my time with this two teachers but when its time for them to go back to where their came from, it was painful for me....as a matter of fact, i didnt slept for 2 whole nights....as life goes on, one of my church member came back from USA...before this, i am not that close to her....somehow, we talked on MSN and finally we get each other's phone number and we talk n talk n talk...we talk alot till she and i got attached to each other real close...at last i found that i fall in love with her...the thing is, i myself know that she is having a boyfriend in USA n she is going back to USA in another 3 months time but yet, i chose the stupid path by falling in love with her...oh gosh....i was in deep shit that time...its like, we are just friends but i cant take my eyes off of here not even just for a second....then, it was time she had to leave back to USA...so far, i didnt express my feelings towards her....something kept me from doing so and i am still seeking what is the thing that is hindering me from expressing me feelings on her....mayb i wasnt dare enought to face the fact that eventhough if our love bloom, it will never last long cuz i wasnt good enough for her...mayb thats why....lets carry on, long after my church member left back to USA, another farewell that i am going to face in a year time is already counting its time....it my beloved sis...well, she is the only sis i ever love and care for so much....it was just yesterday that she told me she is going to leave for UK next year...oh gosh, deep shit right now....from the time i got the message from her, i kept on thinking about what will happen to me in a year time...will i be able to handle this farewell??? and even if i say i can handle it, will my heart ever follow what my mouths says??? its hard to say....she is my one and only sis i had that i care so much...now that i know she is leaving soon, i am speechless....i wanted to avoid her but i cant...avoiding is a total waste of my time....i should do my best to spend time with her n be there for her all the time....no matter what the consequences is, she is still my sis....oh well, its not easy for me....i dont know how is it for her....i hate goodbyes but it is a part of life...when we met someone new, no doubt there will be a farewell someday later on....human are so realistic, they can just put aside the farewells and not think about it until it really happens....like the phrase goes, u dont know what u've got until its gone...am i right??? right now, i am so blank...my mind cant think right....i wonder what is on my sis mind??? but however it is, its still part of the circle of life....when we start, we will end it somehow....i am feeling such in a dilemma right now..can anyone of u plz, advice me on how to handle farewells???? i really need advice...alright then, this is my blog for now, and i'll see ya all next time....tata for now...nitezzz

mistakes mistakes mistakes...

2008-11-10T16:26:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone, this is my first blog so i hope u guys can come n read here all the time...well, in this first blog, let me share with u all out there about my current life...u see, i am having a great time in college and i don feel any pressure studying here...but there is mistakes that i have done that may cause me life in college to just slip away from me....me first semester was great!!! new friends, new things to learn n lots more....then now its me second semester n boy, trouble came in like water flowing....first of all, i hate myself so much...i really do....i am waking up late after my classes and there is almost 2 subjects that i am going to be barred...everytime i go to bed, i will tell myself not to wake up late and even sometimes, i slap myself in order to remind myself....but things went the same...i still woke up late n never went to class....then there was my classmates...those bunch of shitty...even if i am their friends and i seriously trust them but still they don have the same way of treating on me...they all have their on fantasy world....who am i to them anyway? this is the question that is in their mind...if they don trust me then why bother to be me frens anyway right??? besides that, everytime there is a mistake i done, its full of craps coming out of their mouth...its like holy shit man...and when i done things that helps them, not even a thanks...i am fine with that but why must u all say out nonsense frap when i've done a mistake??? cant u guys tell me properly or something??? mayb they dont trust me thats all....wateva...the next is my role as a class representative...i didnt ask for this job and i do not want to have this post either....its a total mess up in me college life....nonetheless, it makes me a total idiot in class...doing mistakes is already a big prob to me n this post is giving me the headaches...i hate my second semester in college...how i wish i can change my class to other class or just change my course to my favourite course that is Food Service...there is a major mistake that i regret didnt do it in life much more earlier...its about this gal....u see guys, i fell in love with her recently and i decided to express me feelings to her but...it was too late....soon i found out she was going out with my own housemate....my own fren from hometown...WOW!!!! thats a shock....a shock that made me regret never telling her how i feel towards her much more earlier...i guess now its too late....too late to start a story between me n her....oh well, what can i do next??? uhmm,.... it about time for me to go to class....so i see u guys in the next blog...send me some comments willl ya guys??? thanks ya all!!! tata

About, Me

things were not the same anymore...

it ended so fast n badly...WHY!?

this song makes me feel happy yet sad at the same time....for the time being i hope

finally...together at last...

going to make my final move...i guess

where am i supposed to go right now???

don need to face me anymore...*sigh*

do i have that chance...???

Who Painted the MOON Black!?

WORST PRACTICAL EVER!!!!

Stuck In the Middle...DILEMMA

so darn headache....all cuz of a cheap idiot

HoLy CraP !!!! 3 bottles of Heineken??? o.O

another stupid day of my boring life...

funny things happy coincidently...

not always good at handling goodbyes...

mistakes mistakes mistakes...

don need to face me anymore...sigh